here goes my body with the body heating up again LOL~ My stomache is ozzing up right now, maybe this is how 'I feel butterflies are in my stomache?'
I don't know what is wrong with me ;/. I know I have changed, and I think some changes are good, some are just plain bad LOL. I really hate life right now, well not life, just SCHOOL! I finally know why some people want to quit school... *sigh* But I won't. I just... can't handle it t.t"
All I want to do for now is just to explore the damn world, I don't want to go to school and learn from someone. I want to explore the world and learn about it myself, and from people. For example, like my algebra teacher, she give everyone student an online quiz, we basically have to do it every weekend. & that damn quiz won't let you change your answer *sigh* once you submit the answer, if it say incorrect etc. you got it wrong.
I mean I want the damn quiz in real life, like what't the point of having a teacher even though she is just teaching us off online? Maybe I don't even need to go the highschool but just homeschool LOL~
anyways, I just look at my grades online. *online blah blah, everything is ONLINE UGH!!* here is it *sigh*
Health: B
Biology: B
English: A
World Studies: --
Beginning Band: C
Chinese: B
Algebra: C
Shocking lol, well not really :S~ I always get B's in all of my class, just English is the one that really shocked me... since I'm BAD at english *crys of happiness* I finally improve T^T!!! ARIGATO!! I finally understand why Mr. B said English/reading have no right or wrong answer, since you get to express yourself. But in Math, History, Science, etc~ there's always an answer...
When I was younger I can't really express myself, but maybe with the help of this blog, and I express myself, I improve & I'm very happy T^T!
What I changed is... *sigh* I don't really care what kind of grades I have ;/. I know kinda weird, since I usually cry because I got this low grade if it's a C I'll just get disappoint. But now I have no feeling at all. *sigh* Maybe because I don't even know if that's my grade LOL~ Reason is, the grading scale.
Like I took the 'online' quiz today, got an 80%. So it should be a B but it's a D. PAHAHA~ I don't know *sigh*~ Oh well. Got to try harder, but to be honest I don't even want to work hard. & if I'm not working hard, I think someone else deserves to go to school instead of me. If you're not passion to go to school then why even go?
I'm not going to drop out though, I'm not that type of person. Maybe it's just me, stressed, tired, depress, and bored.
I also feel, I don't have a 'REAL' friend. Everyone changed. I know I'm happy that I get to talk to Chin&Sha. But I don't even feel like I'm talking to them, I feel like I'm talking to a person that's... fake... Like they aren't the same person I used to hang out with, and talk too.
At a point I really want to give up. I saw the drama 'Beethoven Virus' episode, and the girl can't manage to handle a band, so she wanted to kill herself. You know those type of story where your work place is stressing you out, and you have to handle all the blames. That just make you feel like you want to disappear from the world, and have your own life, somewhere else...
DBSK is also another good example C:~ they felt like they wanted to give up, but they pull it all back together. Because of the support of their fans. I have nothing, but I have myself and family (i think...) to support me. No matter if I fail or sucess, I'll always say 'HWAITING' and try my best.
I'll go now LOL~ Useless message... I just wanted to say I FINALLY FINISH MY HOMEWORK EARLY!! Finish all of them at 8PM hooot~
NITES~
`-- (edit)
no Eliza D:~ I don't say 'AHHHHH!!!' because of Tony gah D:~ I said HE JUST LOOK CUTE ._. that's all D:~, man at that time I wasn't finish typing up all of my message =-=;; & Yes I'll tell Chin&her checking out guys hehe~ ahh~ the music 'Can You Hear Me' is soo soothing right now :333~
- Any Pig
PS: UPDATING~ I want some song that is sad lol. Sooo~ [Tae Yeon - Can You Hear Me?]
From Beethoven Virus OST, I recommend to watch this drama ^^~ Man Tae Yeon shouldn't be in a group, I think she is better as a soloist. No offense to SNSD :X!
"Can you hear me?" *starts playing DBSK's Mirotic song* XD hehe
