i email to her once again yesterday saying...

how can i say this?

>C.l.i.c.k. <

yes i left the word "Click" white not showing it. lol the time i check in her email to see if she read it or went here. i asked her "did you go there?" she said "go where" lol i think she is stupidier than me.

now i do feel happier since i'm not being tricked, why should i feel sorry for her when she is 24/7 talking to that person, that person can feel sorry for her. i cried for her, just because i dun want mom and dad to complain to her. but to think about it, she de-serve it.

finally she read it lol she finally went to the web. end up IMing me saying "you curse in there too much" you said i curse to much? i'll show you how much i can curse sis fuck fuck fuck fuck this stupid shit. URGH! so all along she thought i was happy with my friend? i literally cry everyday now. even if i can't cry, whenever i see a drama, an object, a thing i cry. i'll gladly cry for those objects than for her

such a waste of tears, while i can save this for my parents and the other people that actually care for me. PAHAHA! now she doesn't get what i'm saying i knew she will be confuse. I FUCKING KNEW IT! now I WANT TO SLAP HER

be happy sis or is it bitch?

lol i'm going to hell when i die curse too much but like i care. i dun fucking care.

:EDiT:

lol going to pinic with her "friends" again. i went to her laptop, ended up typing a sort of ish poem and letter. and make it as a desktop background.
it's faster than emailing of she going to my website. this is how it goes...

if you are saying you're not hiding it. then why DID YOU HIDE IT?
that you're dating
ahh you wanted me to do all the work eh?
i see now

if there's any problem, dun come to me.
dun ask me to do anything,
cause i'm sick of it. doing all the work
so you can enjoy, and keep being whiny

go cry cause the bitch, Linh doesn't like you
go scream if you want too. but why am i'm saying this?
this ain't MY problem.
there's already someone that can comfort you.
you dun need me anymore

let's just say you dun trust me with all of this shit
and this is why i dun trust you now.

just cry if you think i have changed but i like i care.
you hurted me for a long time LOL.
and i thought you were caring
bull shit just only you care for, your friends and Rose and other cousins

fuck that

i have been too stupid, to care for this shit. you must be happy now.

*sigh* she think this isn't serious, doesn't she knw i'm a person that takes things seriously even though it's a JOKE? this is serious, cause as sisters we can trust each other, but i dun trust you anymore. now i even think you're not my sister. this will help break off my bad habit. LOL.

lol i used to not talk to my family. cause i knw they dun care about me. everytime i come to the family party, just eat and watch TV, wow that's a fun party PAHAHA! family cares for you? i dun knw, i do knw they do care for me, esp my parents. but i dun feel their comfort, but their "Hwaiting!" "You have to work harder" thanks for those words LOL. my dad just ask me if i'm cold. didn't answer to him lol. but i do feel cold dad, even though today is warm. i do feel cold. i feel dumb. i feel like i'm lost. T-T *need to breathe* i think i'm closer to; nothing (?)

gonna go my friend's resturant to do our children`s book :). Chin&Sha you knw why i want to cover my face with long bangs? cause i don't want to show that i'm crying. i dun want you guys to say "What's wrong?" i knw Sha does read my blog so she can knw how i feel, but Chin is lost about me lol. I'll cont. to be a weirdo, until you find the answer :}.

Thanks To Rei Unnie, to tell me that reply from Micky was cocky. I didn't read it wrong, i shouldn't help them in the first place lol. BUT i wanted too, to see how caring is Micky and to test her and Daseul to see how caring they are. doesn't seem like they are nice at all. so i was correct they aren't nice, or caring.


:EDiT:

I FINALLY DID IT! SOO RELIEVE(?) O-O

somewhat i'm relieve, but still disappointed in her, and i still do lol. after 3 days of investigation about her and her "BF" and her TRUE LIFE. i finally found out. which of course ya'll knw that i was pissed that she doesn't trust me to tell me all of this shit. After 3 days of being mad inside, i wanted to blow my mouth and actually curse at her right it front of her face. *sigh* i knw you must think i was mean to swear at my own sis, but this is the only way i can be relieve.

i finally confess myself, asking her stupid questions. then i ended up blowing up lol. i blow up with tears, and anger. ended having my fingers broken where i can't move my hands or leg anymore. *sigh* i talk to myself, even though she was there with no reply except "Good for you" BULL SHIT THAT! i called her in any curse words i knw and say it rite in her face, all she said was "Good For You" but later she just ignore and cont her chatting with her BF.

but like i care, i need to scream my feeling out to her. i said "i trusted you but you never did" "i shared my stories with you, but all you did was chatting with your stupid friends" "you think i'm this stupid" for that one she reply saying "when did i said you were stupid?" LOL. you didn't do it directly, but indirectly bitch. you think i'm stupid by not telling me anything about you, BULL SHIT MAN! you treated me stupid, without knwing it. *sigh* I HATE YOU! then i said to her "change your emails/MSN password if you want too, cause this is the last time i'm going into your email. instead of this -PW- and -PW- change it too the person you like right now. I love "the guy you're dating", then change the I Love ____ when you're dating someone else. or mind as well change to the people you care "I LOVE MY FRIENDS"

i also deleted myself from her MSN list and also blocked me, i said to her. not to add me again, cause i dun want her too. at once i was too piss she didn't answer me, but just smiling when she is chatting. i throw a color pencil at her. i bet it doesn't hurt, but inside of her must hurt. i wanted her to be like Chin's sister, even knw Xin does chat alot with her BF, BUT at least she share her day and how it goes. i would like my sister to be like that.

also i said to her "May 14" which is her bday. saiding hope that will be her most horrible day lol. hope that won't happen, cause her "BF" will be there. now i'm feeling sorry for her AGAIN DAMN IT! but i'm planning to make her a card and buy her something lol. i don't knw, bet her BF gift is much better than mine T-T *teary* I HATE HIM D< get all the love from her. >E She cried in some part i yell at her, but some part she smile. what the heck man. pick a side sad or happy. you bittersweet person!

so to what i think she think about this "big problem" as she said so. she is sad and doesn't care. I'm finish, hope i won't cry anymore. i'll try not too. MY Bday was crappy she doesn't do anything for me, should i do something for her?

i asked Wurlly if i did the right thing to yell at her, she said "yes". i hope so lol or i'll feel bad-der.

Sha i knw that's you (below) lol when did you knw the wrong "Aja, Aja, Hwaiting" O-O weird << or is it not you D: this post is too long will reply to you in the comment : )

- Any Pig

PS; will update song to

Loveholic - Sylvia <3
thinking today? or it about 1 hour : )

need to color :(

Labels: closer to; nothing